How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere

If you bear patience and read this piece.... I promise you one thing. You'll be a changed person. Relax and read while I take you down the path to talking to anyone. You'll never regret it. I promise... Let's get started......

Smile

Never underestimate the power of smile. Smiles have the potential of opening your mind up. Have you noticed that people full of smiles are often seen as welcoming even though they might not be?

Nobody wants to talk to a person full of frowns.  No matter how bold you are, it will be difficult to flow with anybody who frowns a lot. It's just a natural state of not being welcome.

Even people that frown a lot will not be comfortable with another person that frowns.

To drive home my point, before you start any conversation with anybody, smile.  Smile is irrestible, it makes the other person feel safe.

We naturally do the opposite when we don't want to talk to anybody.... What's that? Frown.

Have you noticed also that people smile with people that smile and frown with people that frown?

Smile makes you look friendly and familiar to even people you've never met before.

The next time you meet a stranger, first smile and watch the magic.

Eye Contact

I was this kind of guy that wanted my younger ones to greet me. But I was doing something wrongly. I never made eye contact. Once they're close to me my eyes were somewhere else. It took only the bold ones to greet me.

But  later on I  found out that even the ones I never thought will greet me, greeted me more when I started making eye contact.

Same thing with any conversation. Nobody will want to continue in a discussion where the other person is looking somewhere else.

Now, when I say make eye contact I don't mean gazing at the person you're talking to without moving your eyes. They're are safe ways of making eye Contact.

 The eye contact here mostly means paying close attention. Eye contact tells the other person you're interested in what they are saying.

A normal eye contact should last for 3 seconds per time.

Even in business, people who make eye contact alot make more money.

I once sold in a shoe shop. I made more eye contacts than my neighbours and I had more sales because my customers felt I had interest in their needs.

Whenever  I saw my customers looking around, I made more eye contact to get their attention. Once they look towards my direction, I asked them what they wanted.

This same pattern works for any other form of conversation.

Remember we naturally do the opposite when we don't want to talk.

Mirror the person you want to talk to

We naturally like people that are like us. What do you do whenever somebody speaks exactly like you do? You immediately smile.

What do you do whenever somebody imitates how you sit. You smile. Why do you smile? Because you got a feeling that they like you or they're like you.

Under such platform, discussion can be very healthy because no threat of being rejected is felt.

Next time you're talking to anybody and you really want them to talk more, mirror their body language, mirror their smiles, mirror their mode of speech.

I'm not saying you should be like a rubber stamp trying all this. With much practice you'll find this very natural.

Just watch people that converse alot. They mirror the person they're talking to unconsciously.

Look at your surrounding

You can start with commending the way the person appears. You can start by saying "you look nice in this T-shirt". He'll say thanks.  He may decide to tell you where he bought it, when and who. He may decide to tell you how mamy people have admired him. And that's how the conversation goes on. You both may gradually talk about fashion.

You can also talk about the weather. You can say " wow! It's quite hot in here" or you can say it's been raining since morning "etc.

Make sure you don't stop at " Yes, No " expand the discussion. Answering directly without adding anything is one of the big killers of communication.

Talk about what they're doing when you met them if you have knowledge about it.

Don't Judge at first sight

"Hey! See how dirty you look"
.... Little John Doe feels attacked and shuts down. You may not be able to flow any longer. because he feels insecure.

Don't judge people at first sight because you may be right or wrong.

The repercussion of this is a failed discussion.

Ask question

Yes this is another good way to start a conversation. Even you know the answer to your question, still ask. He may add something to your Knowledge you didn't know.

Your question should be on general topics if you're just meeting the person the first time. Don't ask people you just met the first time confidential questions. It turns them off.

Don't ask them for example how much they receive as salary. They'll see it as a threat and shutdown.

If you want the conversation to continue, don't ask the person you're talking to questions whose answers are yes and no.

Try these few tips and give me a feedback.